The Pocket Learner

Today I dropped my little girl at school and on exiting the compound I saw a group of parents at the gate which appeared locked. On approaching the area one of the individuals told me that the gate was locked and that they were waiting for someone from the school office to release it. I approached the gate and saw that the padlock was indeed locked but not holding the gate. I pushed the gate and voilà, it opened! The others were surprised; we laughed as we all went our separate ways.

The above scenario made me think – Why didn’t one of them try to open the gate? Who had set the pace? What would have been the breaking point and when would it have come? Although this was a simple scenario, I saw it as herd mentality showing how people are influenced by others and therefore adopt different behaviors.

Be your own man!

In life we often allow others to order our steps instead of charting our own paths. It is more comfortable to behave “normally” rather than run the risk of ruffling feathers or being laughed at. But what is normal? My definition of normal changed when my little girl was born with a disability and I realized that “normal” is, like “beauty” – in the eyes of the beholder. (Being able to appreciate her beauty instead of her shortcomings led to the development of the Pocket Learner which beautifies the lives of others as they raise aspirations by learning to read.) It may be normal for me to walk two miles to work whereas someone else may view that as crazy! Yet, for another person, it is normal to walk 5 miles or more on a daily basis. We should not allow ourselves to be bullied by those who “shout the loudest”. We should not allow others to describe our “Normal”!

When I pushed the gate, I was taking a risk of being ridiculed. That was a chance I was willing to take for I am not bothered by the potential actions of others. By letting other people determine our steps we ignore opportunities to exploit our talents and creativity. We miss out on our potential for success because we are too afraid to trust our instincts. There is a French proverb that says – “A vaincre sans péril, on triomphe sans gloire” (To win without risk is a triumph without glory). By pushing the gate I was swimming against the tide at the risk of being judged by people I would see every day. “You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs” is another proverb that is relevant. If we remain behind the gates we will never know what could have been… which floodgates we could have opened, whose life we could impact, and how we could change the world. We should not worry about other people’s concerns, for our dreams are not theirs to see; it is for us to realize.

What’s the worst that can happen? One fails. But that’s not the end of the world so we must get up and get going again. We remain focused but not so focused that we fail to live and love along the way. Life has a way of humbling one if one is not humble. What is important is how we recover from failure, the lessons we learn, whom we teach, the laughter, the tears – in effect, the full repertoire of a life well lived. Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the USA said: “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years”. How true!

Take the padlock off you!

Sometimes the padlock on the gate seems locked but in reality, it’s the padlock in our minds and hearts that needs unlocking. It’s your innate creativity that is waiting to be released into the stratosphere propelling you to the next level. “The only thing we have to fear is…fear itself…” (Franklin D. Roosevelt, 32nd President, USA). It is the goodness in our hearts that craves to be unleashed on the world but nothing will happen until you do something. The more uncomfortable it is, the more interesting the ride and the more life-changing it can be. There is a Spanish proverb that puts it like this: A mas honor, mas dolor (The more the danger, the greater the honor). Running around on the ground with chickens, scratching here and there eking out a living can never produce the joy of soaring to higher heights like eagles. They don’t settle on lowly pastures, rather, they rise above the storm riding on its winds; at rest while those below are tossed about.

Those of us who take our chances despite the fear we feel often face criticism and abandonment from those who fail to understand our actions. Whether they act out of love, fear, envy, or hatred, the impact is the same – the frustration of our efforts. Many of those who love us, out of their own fears and inhibitions seek to protect us from the daggers in society, perceived or real. I heard a prominent African pastor relate how his parents both died when he was a teenager and their death, though it brought pain in the short term, turned out to be the stimulus that propelled him into the stratosphere. He was able to take risks that he could never have taken had his mother been alive. Today he is a very successful man with a mega-church; he founded a university, sits on various boards, and travels the world preaching and teaching. Had he focused on and internalized popular ideas about black people being unable to achieve, the perceived lack of opportunity, his poverty-stricken environment, and the bankruptcy mentality of many in his milieu he would have padlocked himself into a box, thus creating a barrier to the extensive personal and professional growth he achieved. We should never entertain the idea of inferiority for no one is better than the other – we all have the same needs and we all do the same things to survive.

It can be a lonely road

We all want the same things in life but only a few of us are willing to take the necessary steps to achieve them. While embarking on actions to bring about change we often find that we are alone, with no one willing to show their hand but once we achieve our goal we find many partakers, indeed some who claim to have shared our struggle. That shouldn’t stop us from pursuing our goals and breaking molds. Life is not a popularity contest; those who succeed are those who, despite the challenges, loneliness, and pain continue to strive, falling over but getting up and getting going again. We are all partakers of the success of efforts of those who have gone before; many of whom never lived to see the fruits of their labor. It is our responsibility to build on their work so that future generations can benefit from our efforts too. To whom much is given, much is expected (St. Luke 12). It is our duty to keep going, even when it’s a lonely road.

Words alone don’t change anything unless you are God

There are many people from all walks of life who have ideas that could carpet the world several times over. Some are very good ideas, some need work. Yet they have never lifted a finger to come into their purpose, they fail to build character and create impact. Indeed many good ideas lay in the burial ground never to be explored and we the people are no richer for it. There is a thin line between planting and burying; we have to ensure we chose the correct one. We should bury the past and plant the future.

For those of us who have faith, we should also realize that prayer alone does not bring change. “Faith without works is dead” (The Bible: James 2) so there is no point praying and hoping that someone else will “be the change you want to see in the world” – Mahatma Gandhi. If we want to experience change in our lives it has to start with us. It takes a paradigm shift in the mind with the acknowledgment that we are responsible for our own destiny, irrespective of any external or environmental factor. We can’t keep blaming others or the system or other phenomena for our lack of growth. We have to look into our lives and see the opportunities available or the ones we can create. When I looked at my little girl with her disability and saw how enthusiastic she was to learn it was clear to me that this was an opportunity to impact many lives, so with her help, we created The Pocket Learner, an innovative educational tool that opens the door for many who struggle to learn. Life without learning is not living; we must continue to learn and put our learning into action. Words alone do not change anything.

We must operate ethically and protect our integrity. We have to be aware of the tide but not be unduly influenced by the tide. It is said that everybody is somebody’s fool but we would do well to avoid the company of negative people because one fool makes many!

When I learned that my daughter would be born with a learning disability I cried for several days. I was hurting deeply and didn’t want to talk about it or anything else with anyone. Feelings of inadequacy eroded my self-esteem and I felt like I was a failure. With the help of a few close family members, it took only a short while for me to see the situation in a different light and soon the clouds cleared and I am now the proudest mom ever.

Since my daughter’s birth ten years ago I have started my own training company, written two books, and became a recognized inventor – attributes that I possibly would not have developed if she didn’t come along at the time she did. With her help, we developed a series of educational development products that benefit children like herself. I was simply amazed to see how much and how quickly she was able to learn vocabulary and written words using the system which I stumbled upon. Now the multi-award-winning
Pocket Learner Educational Development System which empowers children deemed slow or who have been diagnosed with Special Needs is a reality that I am certain would not have come about without her existence and engagement.

She had to come into my life to help me to unearth my latent talents that otherwise might never be explored or shared. Many of us have experiences that change us and alter our direction in life. It is for us to appreciate the change that needs to be made and the opportunities presented, even if we do not understand or like the way they are delivered. I am now keen to encourage others who find themselves in a similar position, for I know that every child has the ability to learn.

When you hear of or see a child with a disability there are certain protocols that you should bear in mind when making comments. Unfortunately, most people risk saying the wrong things. Many people avoid contact with the family because they don’t know what to say. This is unfortunate because this is the time that your friend needs you. First, it is important to understand what the family goes through when a child is born with a diagnosis. Some people go through a grieving process as if a death had occurred. Some grieve for the child; others grieve for themselves and what it may mean for their family. This
is no time to be judgmental; people have different ways of dealing with situations. Parents go through the grieving process at different rates. Some never make it all the way through. Many will revisit the process over and over again throughout the child’s life as limitations unfold. Feelings of denial, anger, hopelessness and depression constantly vie for their attention. Those who are earnest persevere and often reach the point of acceptance and love. As a mother of a disabled child who has experienced a wide range of emotions, I would like to share my ideas in terms of how to deal with parents and their
disabled children.

Before I suggest what to say, I believe it is important for you to understand what NOT to say:

i) “I’m Sorry.” “What a Shame.” “How sad.” “Poor thing.” or any statement that conveys pity

What are you sorry for? What did you do? The child is an individual and must be seen in that light. Surely they are not here for your pity.

ii) Statements like, “It could be worse.” “At least your other child is normal.” “He’ll never be able to drive a car.” “How severely is he affected?”

No matter what the diagnosis is at the time nothing could be worse for the parent. Who are you to judge? The fact that the other children are “normal” does not erase the fact that this child has a disability. It doesn’t help to hear of the severity or the impact of the condition; chances are, the parents are aware. Often these presumptions have no bearing on the truth and many disabled people lead normal, independent lives as adults. For some parents, these comments are like driving a nail in a coffin.
They are very unhelpful and do not reflect well on you.

iii) Any statement that puts the blame on the parents or suggests that they had it coming

This is particularly true of parents whose children have been diagnosed with Autism or Attention Deficit Disorder and children with speech delays. Don’t say, “It’s a result of family problems.” “I heard it runs in families, so I guess you are responsible for your child’s problems.” Maybe if you were a better parent
you wouldn’t have this problem.” “What did you do wrong?” I actually had someone asking me what my age was and when I told this supposedly intellectual high powered woman she said, “Well…” as if to say, what did you expect? I wasn’t exactly 20 but young people have disabled children too. Now I think about it and wonder why I didn’t tell her where to go but I console myself with the idea that I was particularly vulnerable at the time and might have regretted any utterances I rendered. What authority does
anyone have to pronounce ill fate on people? Words may be wind to some but it is death to others. If you have nothing good to say, it is better to say nothing.

iv) Don’t suggest that God knows best

God has a purpose for every life; a purpose that will be revealed in time. When parents are grieving they sometimes become irrational. They can appear to lose their faith (if they have any); they are not interested in being special parents, all they wanted was a “normal” child. I have a friend who told me that God knows best and I asked her “Which God?” though I have been a Christian all my life. By prophesying to parents you are not making the situation any better; chances you are making them angrier as they lament over the hand that they have been dealt.

v) Greatness. Don’t tell parents “I couldn’t do it.” I couldn’t handle it.” “You are great.”

These statements imply that disabled people are so terrible that only an extraordinary person would be able to love and care for them. In addition, it adds to the desperation of the parents, causing them to ramble in the tunnel instead of seeking the light. Ordinary people have no real desire to be great at the expense of a disabled child. They have the same dreams and hopes as other parents, they want their children to be healthy and to be able to reach their full potential.

People usually do not mean harm by the above statements. But always think before you speak. Fear of the unknown should be confronted by learning. The comments are usually made with good
intentions but try replacing them with the following which are usually more comforting and appreciated by parents:

1. Say “Congratulations”

Yes, Congratulations. They are new parents after all. They did go through pregnancy, labor and delivery. Like any other new parent, they deserve to be congratulated.

2. Offer help

Actions speak louder than words. Friends and relatives that actually do something make more of an impact than any words they could say. Offer to babysit, make a meal, sort out the clothes, pick up things at the store, obtain information on the internet, or any other useful chore. This shows acceptance and makes the parents feel normal.

3. Compliment the child and the parents

“She’s a wonderful baby and lucky to have parents who love her.” Use the child’s name. If you feel
that the parents need reassurance you can say “I’m sure this presents many challenges, but I know you will cope”. “Your new son will face challenges in life, but all of us do, and he has the best possible start with you”. “What he needs most is something you have lots of – love.” “Remember, that no matter what they tell you trust your instincts, and s/he will be fine.” “What a pretty smile!”

Parents do not feel strong at that moment and don’t want to be told that they are. However, words of encouragement and support will go a far way in alleviating their fears without making them feel patronized.

4. Point out the resemblance between parents and the child

“He looks just like his Dad. She looks just like you did at her age. She’s got your nose.” By doing this
you are taking the focus off the disability and placing them on other attributes of the child. The parents will be appreciative of someone who sees something positive in their child.

5. Show acceptance of the baby

“I am really happy to know ___(baby’s name)____; I’ll learn so much from him/her. I look forward to seeing
him each time I come around. “You must be very proud to have such a wonderful child”. Parents do not want lip service and do not like hypocritical behavior. If you cannot honestly say these things about the child, don’t utter them; people can easily spot insincerity and that would make the situation worse.

6. Talk to the child

You don’t have to comment on the child’s disability. Talk to the child, interact with him/her, and encourage your children to play with him. This means so much more than words. If you are able to interact with the child in the parent’s absence, relate to the parents any story of something positive you observed their child doing. That is encouraging and comforting.

7. Bring a gift

If you are someone who would normally give gifts this is an appropriate moment to bring a gift. This shows acceptance and provides encouragement to the parents.

Although society may consider the birth of children with disabilities to be burdensome, most parents of such children do not agree. As a parent of a disabled child I can attest to the wave of love I feel when my daughter hugs me or when she giggles or crosses little hurdles and achieves milestones which, at one time we did not know that she would cross. I am not here to advocate the right to life, because people live in their own reality. I am not interested in judging those who decide to terminate just because I didn’t. What I can say is that there are joys to be experienced if you do decide to go the distance. If you welcome learning, there is no bigger lesson in life than what you can learn from this child and because of this child.

Many
children with special educational needs (SEN) take a longer time to learn than
their peers. Many of them are visual
learners and for them it is useful to present information using drawings or
illustrations. Diagrams, mind maps, and sketches can be useful in improving
understanding and are easier to remember than reading the text alone.

The use
of colours to create appeal is another technique that has proven useful. Where possible ask the child to help you
colour the drawings or highlight text. Make it fun and where possible
intersperse the activity with movement.
For example, do a bit or colouring and then ask the child to identify an
item in the house that has that colour. Hop,
skip, jump and dance around until you find the item, prompting the child where
necessary.

Information
is hard to remember if it does not make sense. Once your child starts to read
you should avoid complicated sentences – keep it simple. Say, for example, “the baby is crying”. Feel free to make faces to show what is meant
by crying, don’t be afraid to look stupid.

It is useful
to classify your sessions into themes grouping areas that relate to each
other. For example, my little girl is
learning about “Royalty” at school at the moment. She is being taught about the Queen of
England and her great grandchildren – Prince George and Princess Charlotte. In
exploring that topic I introduce other vocabulary such as the castle, the guards,
the jewels, the colour of the princess’ dress, etc. Widen the vocabulary around the particular
theme you are trying to explore.

It is
easier to remember well organised information. Try to find a meaningful
structure for the information, identifying the significant areas and breaking them
down ideas into sections. If necessary make a mindmap (for yourself) to plan ideas.
It may be easier to remember one series of connected ideas rather than a lot of
separate points. This may be more useful in assisting children of secondary
school age and young adults who may be subject to assessments in their educational
institutions.

The Pocket Learner Educational System is useful in enabling children with SEN to test their learning. Active
revision (using the material) is said to be more effective than passive
revision (eg: reading and copying). Bring your revision activities to life by
creating opportunities for the child to “do” rather than to “say”. Let them demonstrate understanding by
doing. For example: for younger children learning basic words let
them label items in the house with the written words.

Make the
information more memorable by using sounds, images or gestures to go with the words. Children with SEN understand information more
easily if they learn the relevant signs even though they are able to use spoken
language.

Finally,
create opportunities for learning on a daily basis. Speak to your child often introducing new
vocabulary and exploring concepts. Even if they do not seem to be understanding, do persevere, for they will, if only we exercise patience. A life
without learning is empty. Help your children to live and thrive by encouraging
them to keep learning.

A recent study in Michigan suggested
that the extent of vocabulary instruction in kindergarten is limited across
schools in the United States of America, especially for those living at or
below the poverty level. While the study didn’t address the issue of children
with special needs i.e. those struggling with emotional and behavioral
disabilities – autism, intellectual disabilities, ADHD/ADD as well as other
learning disabilities, this is problematic because building vocabulary from a
young age is essential in developing a solid foundation for academic
achievement as well as the demonstration of essential social skills in future.

Here are a few strategies for
learning new words that could prove helpful in engaging your child with special
educational needs:

1) Play music
videos for the child, dance together if appropriate. Discuss the meaning of the
vocabulary used in the music. For example in the song “Firework” (Katy Perry),
show the child the video, pausing it at the sections where the fireworks appear. Tell the child that these are “fireworks”. If you are able, find other pictures of
fireworks (Google image search) and show the child other fireworks.

2) Following on the fireworks example at 1) above, after
finding pictures of other fireworks, describe them – beautiful, their colours,
formations, size – any adjective that may be relevant to them.

3) Following on 1) and 2) above, let the child say
which one they like, why, the sounds that they make – turn this into play… Look
at what else is in the video and talk about them.

4) Obtain a picture of fireworks along with other
pictures and play games focused on naming the pictures. If necessary introduce rewards that appeal to
the child. For example: say “my turn,
LOOK I found the red fireworks”. Now it’s
your turn! The Pocket Learner
Educational Development system would be effective here.

5) In your story time, make up a story using the
words learnt, for example, “Harry was very afraid… there were fireworks everywhere
and the noise was so loud”.

6)
Use every opportunity to impart new words to
your little one. If you visit the park together
point out the signs and explain them to your child. Find opportunities later in your visit to
test their understanding by asking the child to tell you what the sign means.
When you return home you may wish to reproduce the sign or find a picture of it,
thus reminding the child of its meaning.

7) Have your child dramatize the meaning of new
words. For example: “hands up; hands down, close your eyes, hop,
skip, jump. The complexity of the
vocabulary will depend on the academic level/capability of the child.

8) Use the new words regularly. For instance,
before your child goes off to school, say something like “Have a good day.”
Next time say “have a wonderful day”.

9) Take the advanced vocabulary you are trying to
impart to your child and write them on cards along with relevant images. Here
you can use the Pocket Learner system.

10) During snack time, introduce foods with
interesting names and have the child sample them. Where possible let the child help you make
them at home. For example, bake a cake ensuring
that you point out the ingredients – flour, raisins, eggs, cherries, etc.

11) With
you child use play dough or other pliable materials to form shapes of items that
illustrate their individual meanings.

12) Use
movement to help your child learn new words.
For example: rocking, coughing,
cooking, dancing. I often say to my
little girl – “Today is Saturday, where are we going today? If she doesn’t know I would move my arms as if
in water and she would say “Swimming”. We’ll
then go off to the swimming pool.

Please bear in mind that all
children learn differently and at different pace. It is up to the
parent/teacher/carer/facilitator to make a determination of the level of
vocabulary that would be appropriate to the child. You should, however, not
make the assumption that the child cannot learn at a higher level, always aim
high and adjust as necessary. When at
the age of seven my little girl came home talking about triangle, square and
circle I was rather surprised. I did not
imagine that she could at that point appreciate such abstract concepts but clearly
she did. I was then able to develop
games to show her items in the home that had those shapes and thus help her to
make sense of it all.

Three simple steps to
helping your SEN child to build vocabulary

Parents of children with special educational needs (SEN) often
wonder how they can help their children develop vocabulary. The ability to
learn the names of items plays a key role in developing reading skills which in
turn is vital not only for academic success but also for building employability
and social skills. Parents and teachers
alike play key roles in teaching children to identify items, whether they have
special needs or not. Here are three tips for helping your child to learn to build
their vocabulary.

1) Try
to stimulate several senses at a time

Stimulating all of the senses of a special needs child can
prove helpful when it comes to developing vocabulary. An effective way of
achieving this is by adding various textures to your reading material. You can
utilize for example: sandpaper, fur, cotton, liquids, dough and other materials
to make reading a fun and sensory experience. When reading a story about animals, you can
use glue to attach different materials for each animal and use the appropriate
vocabulary to describe the surfaces to your child.

Use exercises similar to the tree hugging technique where
the child is asked to close his eyes and use his hands to feel an item. Once the child is familiar with the feel of
the item take the item away and place it in front of the child along with various
other items. Ask the child to identify
the item that he was feeling with his eyes closed. Ensure that the child learns the name of the
item. Repeat with the other items.

2) Use visual
aids

Give your child a chance to tell a story using art or visual
aids. This is a fun way of improving their comprehension of the stories you
read. Help the child to draw colorful pictures of their favourite scenes or mould
characters using play dough or another malleable material such as flour mixed
with water. Cut out pictures and glue them on sheets or white boards and then
talk about them – what each character is doing, what they are wearing, the colours,
sizes, long or short etc. In addition to building their vocabulary these
exercises will also improve their reading skills and general comprehension.
Some children with special needs find it difficult to focus for long periods;
make the activities fun, take regular breaks, change the activities often and
watch how the attention span increases as the child engages with the stories

3) Be flexible and break into bitesize chunks

When reading to a child, make sure that the text is not too
long as children often find it hard to concentrate on an entire story in one go.
One way of dealing with this is by breaking up the story into small sections
and discussing what happened in those sections. Let your child take the lead in
telling you what they learnt about the characters – what they said, what they
looked like, what they wore and the like.
When the child starts to lose interest switch to another activity, a
break or a reward.

The Pocket Learner educational development system has proven effective in helping children to build their vocabulary. It uses words, images and rewards and consolidates learning in an innovative way. Bear in mind that children have different learning styles and they learn at different pace. Be patient if your little one takes some time to grasp the
concepts.

Every learning environment has
children who struggle with learning. This may be your child and it could be
that your child has special needs that curtail their ability to learn at the
pace of their peers. There will always be children who struggle with learning
and the best thing that can be done is to find educational strategies that are
specifically tailored to them.

Keep involved and informed of their activities at school

Keeping all lines of communication open is vitally important
when it comes to your child’s education. Parents must be aware of what and how
their children are doing, whether they are making progress or not. Have regular
meetings with teachers, teaching assistants and other personnel and endeavor to
ascertain how you could work with your child at home to complement what they
are doing at school.

Ask for help

There is no shame in asking for help if you are struggling
with educating your child. There are many resources – people, materials and
services that could be of help. Contact specialist organisations and
professionals, teachers and browse the internet including watching a few online
videos. In some instances you may be able to engage a therapist who understands
your child’s condition can help understand ways to better address your child’s
educational needs. This may be at a cost to you but if it works your child
would be worth it.

Be patient

Being compassionate, understanding and patient are important
values that must be demonstrated when addressing the learning needs of any
child. This is easier said than done and there will be days when you feel
frustrated but you need to keep going. Take a break when you need one and when
it becomes too challenging you need to stop. There is no harm in reassessing
the situation, changing strategies accordingly and starting over. Be deliberate
and consistent in your actions and remember that your child is an individual,
not a copy of you or any other person. Try not to lose your temper with your
child especially if the child is struggling with education.

Facilitate and celebrate
success

Creating learning situations that allow your child to succeed
and remembering that success isn’t always in the form of a top grade is vital.
For some children, particularly those who are struggling with their classes,
success may be tiny increments and should be celebrated. For a child with
special needs the ability to recognize a word they recently learnt is worthy of
praise. These small instances of success motivate children to work harder and
achieve more with their education.

Use the Pocket Learner to
Help

The Pocket Learner educational development programme is a
system that has proved effective in the teaching of children who struggle with
learning. It uses images, words and rewards to motivate children and has shown
to significantly enhance learning in children who have been deemed slow
learners.

Facilitate and
celebrate success

Creating learning situations that allow your child to
succeed and remembering that success isn’t always in the form of a top grade is
vital. For some children, particularly those who are struggling with their
classes, success may be tiny increments and should be celebrated. For a child with special needs the ability to
recognize a word they recently learnt is worthy of praise. These small instances of success motivate
children to work harder and achieve more with their education.

Use the Pocket Learner to Help

The Pocket Learner
educational development programme is a system that has proved effective in
the teaching of children who struggle with learning. It uses images, words and
rewards to motivate children and has shown to significantly enhance learning in
children who have been deemed slow learners.

Learning a foreign language is an incredibly rewarding experience and a serious confidence booster. You’ll get to overcome some of your fears and doubts, learn more about yourself, meet new people, and perhaps travel to places you would’ve never dared to visit before. Plus, the constant positive feedback from native speakers, their surprise and encouragement is always a motivation when they discover that, yes you do understand what they are saying.

We at the Pocket Learner believe that individuals can add a new dimension to their holiday if they have a basic ability in a foreign language which will help them to ‘get by’, i.e. to order food and drink, find their way around, buy tickets, go shopping etc. If you have a more advanced knowledge of the language, you can have real conversations with people you meet.

If relatives or friends speak a different language, learning that language will help you to communicate with them. It can also give you a better understanding of their way of thinking.

We have designed the Pocket Learner to enhance vocabulary building in any language you desire whether working individually or in a group setting.